I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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