You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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