me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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