Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
