chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
