dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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