We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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