Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think people are normalizing furries
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
