Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
