butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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