My nipple is on Facebook.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize