I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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