So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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