These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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