I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize