She went from zero to smokin in five shots
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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