She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
