I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
