Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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