I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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