Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Operation Purity has been aborted
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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