So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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