i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
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