While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
