Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
