I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm at about main and main street
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
