So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
