you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I would fuck him just for his dog
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
