I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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