My friends, they love my intelligence
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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