I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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