smell my finger.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
