every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
