Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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