the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
In America we eat man semen.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
