I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
