I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
