his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
