yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was born a porn star she said
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
