I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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