i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
