that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
