Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
