Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
