That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize