ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When are your genitals available?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
