Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
