Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Every concussion has its silver lining
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
