ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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