I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
