i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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