Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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