You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
