Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
