I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
