I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize