4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
