so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
