READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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