Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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