He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
