The maid of honor just puked.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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