i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
