They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize