Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
