Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
