she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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